The Speedy are often Needy


(Note: NSFW links included below)

I’ve been watching the hit HBO show “Girls” and cannot get over how thoroughly disagreeable the characters in the show really are. Narcissistic, self-involved, entitled and shallow beyond belief, the show follows the trials and tribulations of a group of four young, 20-something girls right after college graduation in a post-economic recovery New York City (specifically Brooklyn) as they try getting their foot in the door of life, professionally, socially and romantically.

promo, through HBO canada.

The “Girls”: (left to right) Marnie, Jessa, Hannah and Shoshanna

Think of it as a poor-man’s “Sex and the City” with less-attractive guys and realistic clothes and much-less emotionally mature girls. The show has been gaining accolades for it’s “realistic depiction” of the lives of girls in this specific demographic group but also for the frequency which homely looking, obsessive-compulsive lead character Hannah (played by Lena Dunham, who also created, produces, directs and writes for the show) strips down completely and shows off her Rubenesque figure. Which is often. There’s also the more raw sex scenes and frank discussions of sexual play between the girls and boys. (For the record, I don’t think the nudity is the big deal here, in fact I applaud it because Hanna/Lena’s body is NOT a conventional Hollywood body but one which more women can relate to and accept and the public backlash from men in particular is exactly why there needs to be more of this kind body-acceptance instead of the constant showing of body-types most women can never relate to or have. My gripe is how horrible these personalities are.)

Lena Dunham

Lena Dunham

 I admit, it is a tad addictive to watch, much like a train-wreck.  You want to look away but you just can’t. However, more than once I’ve thrown up my hands in the air in frustration and thought  “That’s just never going to happen in real life.” In one episode Hannah randomly hooks up with an Adonis-like recently separated doctor (played by the Adonis-like Patrick Wilson, in season 2 episode 5). I mean she literally walks into his amazing and perfectly decorated brownstone and ends up spending a whole dirty weekend with him.
This never happens in real life. Like, ever.

Hannah and the doctor. This never happens in real life. Like, ever.

What really gets me is how random the sex is. I mean the girls in some cases don’t even exchange more than 20 words with the guy and suddenly they’re at it. They then complain afterwards when the guys don’t treat them like precious fine-bone china-dolls afterwards.
Now, I’m not an adamant feminist but I do think there is a direct correlation between how much people respect you to how much you respect yourself. The more you respect yourself, the more people will respect you and that can take many, many forms. I mean hardly anyone these days, talks about respect in a serious and meaningful way anymore (outside of customer service) . What dawns on anyone after watching the show is just how empty and emotionally confused and vapid these girls and boys really are. That somehow by having as many sexual conquests as possible, that will increase your own sense of desirability and *that* will somehow fulfill you and make people respect you and like you….and unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.
I remember a few years ago, shock-jock radio personality Howard Stern  interviewed  Sweet Connie Hamzy, a notorious rock groupie who has been involved with just about anyone and everyone. She had been recounting her various escapades and with whom and honestly….it just sounded sad and tragic. It didn’t sound empowering or strong or happy even though that’s how she was trying desperately to come across as.
Sweet Connie Hamzy

Sweet Connie Hamzy

 After watching “Girls”, you also come away realizing how completely needy these women are. It reminds me of something a friend of mine once said, that the speedy are often needy. People who move in fast for the kill are often extremely needy and clingy and I’ve seen it over and over again in  relationship horror stories involving friends and their partners.
I mean, like a gourmet meal, the best things in life take time to build. If something is truly yours, you can never truly lose it and if you are afraid of losing it by being too fast, that’s the sign right there it’s not really yours to have in the first place, no?
Categories: Ascension, Pop culture, Raise your EQ, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “The Speedy are often Needy

  1. strident feminist

    Why aren’t you an adamant feminist? Are you saying sometimes you are a feminist and sometimes your not? I thought you were a feminist based on your writing, it surprised me to see you state other wise.

    • The way I interpret the word “feminist” is that at times it means elevating women at the expense of men. I don’t believe in one gender overpowering another. I think they have different qualities and strengths but I don’t think one is “better” than others. I think all genders need to look at each other as allies in life instead of potential enemies to put down and control.

      • strident feminist

        Thank you for your reply and please forgive my rudeness in my first post. I should have first told you that I enjoy reading your blog and I check often for new posts.

        I understand your interpretation of the word feminist and I’m afraid that is how a lot interpret it. That is not what it means that’s just what we have been conditioned to think it means by people trying to make feminist a bad word. I cringe every time I hear a woman say “I’m not a feminist”

        I also totally agree with the rest of your post. I think the idea that women should have a lot of random and meaningless sex to empower ourselves is hurting the feminist movement as well. Probably instigated by the same people who want to keep us down 🙂

  2. Not a problem SF 🙂
    I think I ticked off more than a few people with this last post since I lost a couple of readers. But thanks for clearing things up and to be clear, I’m not anti-male and *just* pro-female (which is the unfortunate connotation of “feminist” in many circles these days) Rather, I’d just like to say I’m pro-human. I only discriminate on the basis of stupidity irrespective of gender.

  3. This quotable is why I like reading your blog: “I only discriminate on the basis of stupidity irrespective of gender.”

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