The New Radicals?

(Note: This post touches on a sensitive and insanely personal topic and I won’t be surprised if I lose some readers. No direct offense is intended in any way, shape or form to any group and for anyone who takes any offense, it is completely unintended so apologies in advance.  This is just intended to be food for thought and discussion.)
This has sort of been buzzing on my mind in recent weeks. XOJane and Salon have recently been putting out articles around asexuals (or “Aces” as they are known as within their own community) and demi-sexuals. One read-through in the comments sections both at the original site and at Facebook and it’s enough to see how vitriolic the reactions have been to these “newly designated” sexual orientations and why it bothers so many people
I think many people often forget that sexuality, like a lot of other things in life,  runs along a spectrum of being and strength and somehow think because they have urges and needs which run, at say 100 degrees, that everyone else automatically has the same urges and needs which also run at 100 degrees when in fact some people run at 5 degrees (and that’s their normal, and would probably veer towards asexuality) while others run at 175 degrees (and that’s *their* normal, and would probably veer towards hyper-sexuality). This could be equally applicable to heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals or transsexuals. Big deal, right?

All sorts of degrees in between.

Surprisingly, what it showed me more than anything else is that
1) There are way too many people in this world who automatically assume that everyone else on Earth want and need the exact same things and to the same degree as they do. Which just isn’t true.
2) For some reason, other people’s sexuality really seems to push people’s personal buttons. I’m talking serious projection of one’s own issues without even knowing anything about that other person.
Just going back to the topic of asexuals and demi-sexuals in general, I think on a spiritual level, there’s something very, very interesting going on here. Like I had written earlier, there’s a spectrum of being. Some Aces simply don’t feel ‘it”. I mean no urges to have sexual relations with anyone but they still want to feel loved by someone and prefer just cuddling , holding hands and talking and feel they can be close to someone by really understanding them on an emotional level. For them that’s true intimacy.
They aren’t traumatized or “damaged”, they don’t hate sex or people who want to have sex. They themselves just don’t feel the want or urge to be sexual.
Some Aces, who are demi-sexual on the other hand do have those urges to be sexual with someone but only under very strict and extremely particular conditions. You can place a picture of the most beautiful woman on Earth or the most handsome man in front of them and there is literally no reaction. Yet, they can only feel sexual if they have a deep emotional or spiritual bond with someone first and foremost. The culture of random sex, one-night stands and Tinder hook-ups just doesn’t work for them even if they tried and wanted to. The body just doesn’t respond to just anyone.
There’s some speculation that people with slight forms of autism and Asperger’s Syndrome seem to be more prone towards asexuality but that’s still on the speculative side of things for now. From a scientific point of view, we just don’t know and like Lady Gaga sings, maybe they’re just born that way and that’s that.
Spiritually, I think it’s a Uranian seed from tomorrow.
Child with progeria.

Child with progeria.

I remember reading Linda Goodman’s book “Star Signs” and in it she talked about the very rare, accelerated-aging disease, namely Progeria. Children who are literally born old and accelerate into old age as they grow up. They usually don’t live a very long time, and like senior citizens have a slew of similar health issues, like heart disease, cancer, liver spots etc.Yet despite their old appearance, they still act like children, full of smiles and innocence and they stay that way until the end of their short lives. In Goodman’s opinion, these are special souls who incarnated to symbolically show us that things like age and time are ultimately illusions, part of the greater illusion of Maya.
Likewise, I think what some asexuals (not all) are symbolically demonstrating is that there is a higher octave of love out there, one not based on physicality at all but rather on pure, true love, sympathy and understanding between connected souls, which in some ways can be deeper, more satisfying and more lasting than any earth-shattering, mind-numbing  orgasm can induce even under the best of conditions.  It’s an idea which can be hard to wrap your head around in a culture and world which is as soaked with instant gratification, random, unfeeling sex and internet pornography as ours is. But it’s still out there and it is possible.
On another note, I think religions and sects which enforce celibacy among their clergy, like the Catholic Church, lost the plot completely. I think in hindsight, had they understood different types of sexuality more, they should have only encouraged and accepted those persons who had very low to non-existent sex drives to begin with who had a true calling for a more contemplative and spiritual life to join their ranks. Instead they did it backwards and enforced something on persons who were incapable of deadening their own sex drives with truly horrific and disastrous results. The pedophile and sex scandals which have rocked various churches over the past 20 years only show that up more than anything else.
Rome made a huge, huge mistake with respect to understanding how the different types of human sexuality work and instead fell under dogma, never mid if it was unsuitable for some people, I think.

The Vatican made a huge, huge mistake with respect to understanding how the different types of human sexuality work and instead fell under dogma, never mid if it was unsuitable for some people.

Now before anyone decides to jump on me, I just want to say and make it very clear that I’m not saying that we all suddenly need to become asexual to understand love or that only Aces understand love and no one else does. All I’m saying is that there seems to be a different way of being which  is finally being explained properly and it might be worth looking at it to see what we can understand from it.
It’s just a thought.
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Categories: Ch-ch-ch-changes, Pop culture, Raise your EQ, Shift of the Ages effects, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

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9 thoughts on “The New Radicals?

  1. I think the only thing that needs to be understood is that there is a FULL spectrum and sexuality can’t be put into boxes. Someone can be hypersexual for awhile and then asexual, perhaps when they get older. One might feel sexually attracted to someone they love while another might become more sexually drawn to casual partners. As long as it’s mutual, it shouldn’t matter to anyone but those involved.

    • There are members of the LGBT and Ace community who do want those labels because it helps to identify themselves to others who may not share or understand their orientation, but also to identify themselves to each other within those communities as well.
      I do agree that a person’s place on that spectrum can change over their own lifetime, people change all the time and I think something like human sexuality is fluid to begin with anyway. I just think people who may not share the same orientation need to share that space where that fluidity can take place, irrespective of orientation. At the end of the day, everyone just wants to be acknowledged and accepted.

  2. kessara

    I have experienced a wide range of situations from an almost desperate need to have someone in my life to love and be sexual with – to where I am now which is more interested in companionship and affectionate cuddling than anything sexual. Am I anti-sex? No. It’s just not as important or as driving a need as it used to be. I can clearly see the phases I went through over the past 50 years and some of the outside factors that drove the different phase changes.

    I have also noticed a decidedly deep swing from the 1960’s and 1970’s era of ‘everyone is okay’ mindset to a ‘if you’re not like me, you’re evil/bad/wrong and need to be fixed’ that seems to pervade most of mass media today.

    • I think sexual expression and human sexuality would then seem to run in waves and trends, like political movements and musical genres (30’s= jazz, 40’s=big band, 50s= rock’n roll, 60’s= Motown, 70’s=disco, 80’s=New Wave, 90’s=Grunge etc.).
      I think this is where the individual and individual realities really needs to be respected rather than following some “trend”. And yes, I completely agree that lately the zeitgeist of mainstream culture seems to be one where everyone is a generic conformist carbon copy of one another, down to lifestyle choices and dating options.

  3. Genus

    I got lost after the chart. Are we talking about sexual expression or human sexuality?

  4. kessara

    Just saw this: http://www.brainpickings.org/2014/01/14/love-and-sex/

    “Part of the modern ideology of love is to assume that love and sex always go together. They can, I suppose, but I think rather to the detriment of either one or the other. And probably the greatest problem for human beings is that they just don’t. – Susan Sontag “

    • I agree with Sontag on this – I think it’s time we just started looking at people as people and leave their sexual identities up to them to figure out. I’m just so against putting people into boxes which they can never leave afterwards.

  5. Pingback: Dwelling on the Fringe and Your Bit Part | The Shift Has Hit The Fan

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