“But the Fringe Dweller I speak of are those whose spirit – the very core of their being – is leaving or has left the system. They have detached and projected themselves out of the destiny and evolution of the common man, and the tribal and national folk wave. These spiritual Fringe Dwellers usually have an alignment to the Universal God, which comes from their own sense of Spirit that is now individualizing away from the tribal wave… Are the Fringe Dwellers just a few mystics, ascetics, or hippy wackos? No way. Millions of people all over the globe have now taken the step. Many are very normal and socially well-adjusted…It’s just that they have detached from the emotional alignment of common concerns and interests…They have no ax to grind or cause to expound. They honestly believe that they are in their last human experience…In questioning them, they all say they don’t want to come back. They know they have finished…Seeing life as energy and looking at themselves they begin to embrace the truth. they move from ego to Spirit. It hurts at first, and there is much to process and to go beyond…If you are a spiritual Fringe Dweller – or if you are becoming one – the first point of reconciliation is to admit it. You have to understand that you have projected yourself out of this world, so you may never really fit in anywhere. People will mostly reject your ideas. You may never gain the recognition or acceptance to which your talents may suggest you’re entitled to…Trying to fit in is silly…it burns energy. Wake up to the weirdo within you and don’t apologize for it. Just be it. Love it. Nurture it. Look within it…
I have never wanted children.
I just never related to it and never once had a hormonal impulse towards having them or felt the need. Even as a kid, I hated playing with dolls and baby prams and preferred being out on my bike, climbing trees and making forts or tree-houses. Exploring the world seemed far more fascinating than pretending to change a dirty diaper.
When you tell people, that as a woman, you don’t want kids most people either think you’re a freak, abnormal child-hater or some selfish monster. No matter how much you try explaining to them that you just don’t *feel* it and that deep down inside, you already know you’re only going to end up resenting those souls, even on a subconscious level, for taking up a large part of your freedom and space for 20 odd years, hinder your mobility and hinder any deeper spiritual work you may be attempting and that it will be a terrible, terrible mistake and deeply unfair to those souls, they always come up with some cockamamie response like “Oh, you’ll change your mind”, “It will be different when its your own” or “Just wait till you meet the right guy.” Or you get condescending faux-sympathy like in this article. What I also find even more insulting is that these commentators seem to think they have a right to express an opinion about what you should be doing with your body and time, like they have a right to it. Yeah, right.
There has been a plethora or articles recently of women citing their specific reasons why they have decided to remain childfree. There has also been an even stronger backlash as to why all women should have children. The reasons are as diverse as humanity itself. Infertility is one. Some people are afraid of becoming bad parents given their own life history. Some people are asexual and don’t physically want it. Over-population, being environmentally sensitive are others. I think they are all valid, but very few look at the spiritual reason behind being childfree.
No, it’s not a question of meeting the right guy or anything as simplistic as that. Like Stuie wrote, as well as Dolores Cannon in some of her books, kids are karma and I made the decision that I really don’t want to come back here. Personally, I’m done. That’s not a nihilistic, pessimistic, deathist stance. Rather, it’s really, truly knowing that this world is all illusion and you can either get enmeshed deeper and deeper into the illusion and accumulate “stuff” (and karma and drama)…or see it for what it is and decide to travel light and accumulate having experiences and insights instead, and knowing which option will make you individually happier and at peace in the long run.
A few blog posts ago I briefly discussed Lexigrams. The word THEATRE also has the words EARTH, THREAT, HEART, ETHER and I believe it was the English bard William Shakespeare who once wrote:
It’s about being brutally honest with yourself and knowing which path you need to take, a materialistic one or a spiritual one. One isn’t necessarily better than the other. They both have their pluses and minuses. It’s about figuring out the right one for you. How much are the things you “want” really wants (or needs) which come from a deep, organic, personal place within you or is it a synthetic “want” which was created outside of you (marketing, propaganda, economic, religious, social and cultural indoctrination etc.) and somewhere along the line, you internalized that “want”, but really, it is not yours, it is an implant? It’s just a thought.
We’re all only playing bit parts in a Grand Play. Everyone is putting on an act to some degree. At work. On social media. In their relationships. It’s up to you to wake up to the deeper reality and know when its time to take the mask off. Most people never will and you know exactly who they are. They find solace in clinging to their illusions and comforts and sticking to the script and that’s just their journey. There’s nothing wrong with that. Stuie Wilde would have called these folks, people who follow “tick-tock“.
I’ll only add this; fringes or margins are very interesting places. It is only at the margins can you see the big picture with an unobstructed view. It is precisely when you see the entire view, you may not necessarily see your soul, but you may just see what your bit part is. And like the song below hints at, you may just see that your bit part is huge as well.
This is an announcement
For the transcendental run
The train now standing
Leaves for higher planes
Due to a derailment
There will be no other train
So why not hop on this one?
Hear the porter’s glad refrain…
Your heart is in the song
The song is of the earth
The song is of the sky
Into everything around
The worm we dug from higher ground
You have let go of ego
Ego is no longer you
Closer to Nirvana
Since the porter’s whistle blew